12 months of Tucker

In the midst of all the recent darkness, this little guy is my ray of sunshine! To cheer myself up, I went through all of Tucker's monthly pictures and put together this cute little photo montage. I found the design on Minted and will be ordering it soon to display somewhere in our home. I can't believe how much he changed in just 1 year!

The Rock & The Storm

“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.” - Haruki Murakami

My lovely friend Erin shared these words on her facebook page this week and they resonated with me in a big way. You see, my family and I have been going through one helluva storm these past 6 months. I won't go into detail of the hardships and losses we've faced in just a few short months (because like the quote says, I don't even know that the storm is over yet), but I can say that I am forever changed. We are all forever changed.

In the eye of this storm is the greatest man I have ever known, my father. His passing has been heart wrenching, gut wrenching and the most difficult thing I've ever had to face. These are the words I shared with our family and friends in memory of him, The Rock.

If there is one word that best describes my father, it’s ROCK. The word “rock” has several entries and over 15 definitions in the dictionary – most all of them relate to dad in some way.

Rock, verb: To move back and forth in or as if in a cradle - - I don’t particularly remember dad rocking me to sleep as a baby, but I’m sure he did. He was my go to guy when it was time for bed, helping me brush my teeth and get into my pajamas, picking out a stuffed animal for me to sleep with in our game of dolly surprise and inevitably tucking me in, turning out the lights and saying goodnight. On those nights when I had a bad dream or had a particularly hard time getting to sleep, dad would gently rock his hand back and forth on my back until I felt safe again and drifted off to sleep.

Rock, verb: To move forward at a steady pace - - I don’t believe I know of a single time in my father’s life when he wasn’t moving forward at a steady pace – the two key words here being “forward” and “steady”. He was always a man of purpose and strong intent. His decisions were calculated and controlled – after all, he was an engineer and let’s be honest, it takes a certain kind of person to be an engineer. Dad was a master at self-discipline in all aspects of his life and it served him well, allowing him to work his way through college and graduate school, eventually moving forward at that steady pace to receive his PhD. And he continued moving forward, steadily rising in his career as an executive in the semi-conductor sector, taking us to New Jersey, North Carolina and eventually, back to Texas. Even in retirement, he didn’t give up moving forward at that continual steady pace, focusing his self -discipline on the game of golf and serving his community on the Property Owners Association. 

Rock, noun: something like a rock in firmness; foundation, support - - My father was the rock of our family. He was steady and unwavering in the face of uncertainty. He was strong and dependable when times got tough. He was understanding and supportive when life took unexpected turns. Above all, Dad was always there for you when you needed him. He was a provider and an advisor. He was a man who never expected more from others than he expected of himself. He was a man of high standards who believed in doing the right thing. I think Dad knew God put him on this earth to take care of the people he loved and to make sure we were all well looked after. Our rock may not physically be with us anymore, but the foundation he built for us while he was here will carry us through till we see him again in heaven and until then I know he’s looking down on us, watching over us and loving us. 

Rock, noun: slang for gem, diamond - - one definition of the word “gem”: a highly prized or well beloved person. Dad was and is our family gem. Quiet and reserved on the outside, he had a heart of gold on the inside that steadfastly and intently loved his family and friends. Like a diamond, he formed and performed under great pressure throughout his life. He was known to many and precious to us few. He was one-of-a-kind. He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father and a grandfather. He was my dad and I couldn’t be more proud to be his daughter. 

Someone turned 1!

Dear Tucker, 

I can't tell you how amazing this first year has been. You've rocked my world in the best way possible! You've made me more patient and more loving than I ever knew I could be. You've tested me...but your tests have made me grow. I'm so proud of the little boy you are becoming. 

You were such a good baby, strong from the get go. You held your head up on your own just hours after you were born and you were always trying to stand up on your own two legs. You loved to lie on your changing pad in front of the window in your nursery staring up at your mobile and kicking your legs. It's amazing how much you've grown in 12 months!

You've always been a talker, just like you're daddy. You started babbling before 3 months and never stopped. Some of your favorite words are dada, ada, and the occasional mmmama. 

It took you a bit to get moving, but once you started crawling at 8 months there was nothing stopping you! You began walking at 11 months and you're up and running now at 12 months.

Although you slept on me for almost the first 6 months of your life, now you're on your own sleeping through the night like a champ. I love checking your monitor to see what position you're sleeping in - you're all over that crib! The older you've gotten the more independent you've gotten. That's how it should be and I hope it means I'm doing something right, but I miss my boy needing me. So those moments when you're upset or just over wrought with sleepiness, I relish you putting your head down on my shoulder and just being.

I say to your dad all the time how strong you are for being as young as you are. You've been through two more surgeries than he and I ever have! And you're an example to me every day with that strength - to keep a smile on and keep on going. You weren't even 5 months old when you had spinal surgery to release your tethered cord - you bounced back amazingly! I can't tell you how scared I was going into the children's hospital that morning, but when I saw you in recovery chugging pedialyte with everything you had, I knew you would be okay. And the tubes in your ears at 10 months...piece of cake! You were over that just a few hours after. I know this is an indication of the man you will be one day - - strong, never willing to give up or give in and keeping a smile on your face through the worst of times.

Have I mentioned how happy of a baby you are? You've got a heck of smile and its infectious, I tell you! You smile at everyone and you draw everyone in with just a look in your eye. When you were first born, you had the most beautiful color hair I've ever seen - - the most unique golden color - - you were known as the baby "with the pretty hair". We weren't sure if it would be red, like mine, or blond, like your father's, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be a color that's all your own. And lucky for you, you have my cowlick and your father's so it swirls up front and in the back, which makes it stick straight up right now! It definitely grabs everyone's attention.

It's hard to put a year with you in words, because there aren't enough words in our language or letters in the alphabet to express how much I love you. You've made my heart grow bigger and bigger with love for you each day you've been in my life. Sometimes I can't believe how fast this year has gone by, other times, I can't believe its only been a year because I feel like I've known you FOREVER. But no matter what, I will always love you. You're my golden boy and I couldn't be more proud to be your mama.

Love always,
Mama

PS - you're so lucky to share your birthday with your Great Aunt DeeDee!

Take Notice: We have Aars

My necklaces were featured on the fantastic lifestyle blog You Have Your Blog We Have Aars this week! I've been a reader of Allison's blog for some time now and I'm so honored to have my necklaces on her Wish List. Thanks, Allison! And if you're not a follower of Allison, do head over and check out her corner of the internet!

New in Shop!

I've had a bit of a creative surge and churned out some new necklaces for the shop. I hope you'll jump over and take a peak at some of my new offerings, including these cute Mama & Me necklaces!